Understanding
by FebruaryAquarian
Summary: When Harry finds Susan alone, he discovers that not only do they have a lot in common, but that she's hiding a dark secret.


Harry walked down the short pier over the lake. His mind raced in a thousand directions as he tried to figure out what Draco was doing. The loss of Sirius weighed heavily on his mind as well as Dumbledore asking him for his help with past memories. A figure sitting at the edge of the pier caught his gaze. As he inched closer, he recognized the plait of ginger hair as Susan Bones. Part of him thought maybe he should leave her be, but another part wondered what she was doing there alone. He put his hands in his pockets and took slow strides up the edge of the pier. Susan was sitting cross-legged and writing on some parchment. As he neared the pier's end, a board creaked. She jumped and nearly dropped her quill. She turned to him with a gasp and gripped her pocket for her wand. Susan let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

"Harry, you-you scared me. What are you doing out here?"

He moved closer, "Same as you I figure. Wanted to be alone."

She shrugged, "I see."

"I didn't mean to disturb you. I didn't know anyone was out here."

"It's okay. I'm not staying much longer."

"No, you can stay. Don't let me ruin your time for yourself."

They were both silent for a moment as they glanced at the still water.

"I'm sorry about your godfather." Susan finally said.

He gave a half-smile, "Thanks. I'm sorry about your Aunt. I heard."

"Thanks. Who do you stay with when school's not in session?"

"My aunt and uncle in Surrey, but they-they don't exactly want me there. Never did. They're muggles and they don't like anything to do with me or our world."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"At least I have Hogwarts and my friends here."

"Yeah."

"Who are you staying with now?"

Susan sighed and held her notebook close to her chest, "I don't know. My Aunt was the only family I had left."

Harry gulped, "I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay. It sounds like neither of us have a place we really belong outside of here."

"So you have no one else?"

She shook her head. "Just my friends here."

He had been so busy in his grief, he had forgotten that others had it quite bad too. It just occurred to him that Susan had lost everyone in her family after Death Eaters killed her Aunt this past summer.

Harry sat down on the other side of the dock. "At least we'll be 17 this year."

"I just wish this war was over. You-Know-Who has taken everyone from me. I never got to know most of my family because they took them from me. All I'll ever have are pictures."

"Yeah, same. Everyone tells me how great my dad and mum were, but I was too young to remember them."

She sighed. "I try not to think about it much. My Aunt Milly though, I miss her everyday since she's been gone. She was a great person. Smart, skilled, and she didn't let him take her without a fight. If I can be even half of the person she was, I'll call that success."

"Susan, I think you are one of the few people in this world who could understand what I'm going through."

"Yeah, I figure you can understand what's it like to lose all or almost all of your entire family."

"It's unfortunate that that's one thing we have in common."

Susan clutched her notebook tighter as tears welled up in her eyes. "It's hard to realize you really are all alone."

Harry tossed a small stick into the water and sighed. "I suppose I always was. At least until I came here."

"I have some friends, I guess. Not really best friends though, like you and Ron and Hermione. You got lucky that way."

He turned to her, "What about Leanne and Hannah and Megan?"

"We are friends." She sighed. "Just not really best friends. Acquaintances is a good word."

Harry sighed, "I see."

Susan stood up, "I think I'm going to go inside where it's warm." She gathered up her books and tossed her bag over her shoulder. "See you around, Harry."

"See you, Susan." He watched her take quick strides away and turned back to the lake when he noticed something in the corner. She had left a small notebook. He leapt up and snatched it and turned to tell you, but she was already too far away. He took a deep breath and looked at the small blue book. "Food Diary." He raised an eyebrow and knew he shouldn't look, but curiosity got the better of him and he opened the book to a random page.

As Harry read the one page, he swallowed hard and his breath caught. He flipped the page and his heart jumped into his throat before he quickly closed it.

September 8: One piece of toast, no butter or jam. One sausage roll, no condiments. One bit of roast beef, no potatoes, half the peas, no puddings.

September 9: Skipped breakfast, cheese on toast for lunch, one beef pasty for dinner.

September 10: Ate porridge with berries, no chips and removed skin of fish-only ate one fish and the mushy peas, skipped dinner. Already exceeded the daily intake.

September 11: No breakfast, half a ham sandwich with mustard no cheese, just half of the steak and kidney pie. No desserts!

September 12: Ate one boiled egg, no lunch, some of the toad in the hole, NO DESSERT!

September 13: No breakfast, half of the turkey sandwich no mayo just lettuce, one slice of grilled chicken and cauliflower, no mashed potatoes or gravy or bread. Still no dessert!

September 14: Ate tomatoes and mushrooms, no beans, no sausage. No lunch today. Skipped the lamb, had the broccoli and carrots, no roast potatoes. ONLY DRINK WATER! I checked my weight and lost only 1kg. GOAL: Lose 2 stone.

He turned a couple pages. October 9, I ate too much and knew I'd gain weight again. I made myself throw up. I hate myself! I'm so fat and ugly and I still ate too much. I need to be pretty and thin like the others. I can't stand to look at myself.

His palms became sweaty and he nearly dropped the notebook. He knew this was bad, yet he did not know if he could tell anyone because he shouldn't have even read it. Now that he had, he regretted it. All he knew was he could not let what he had just read slide. Susan was in trouble and as far as he was aware, he was the only one who knew what she was doing. Fuck. The last thing he needed was a new burden to shoulder, but if she was not eating and making herself sick to lose weight, it was far more dangerous than whatever Draco was getting into. His mouth became dry and he cursed himself. Fuck.


End file.
